Muscle Memory

I initially didn’t plan to write today because I’ve been writing so much I fear that I’ll use up all the ideas I have to blog. But here I am, writing about nothing in particular (or do I?). I came across a blog post: What To Do When You Want to Write But Don’t Know What to Write and followed the writer’s advice. As usual my day is going by (still working) like an unchanging season. I don’t even know what season is since my country has only one season – perpetual summer with the occasional spring feel.

I was writing (actual writing, like on paper) and realised that my words are of a certain size. Everyone have their own special handwriting of different curves, size, squiggles whether it’s messy or neat but never exceeding a certain height. We’re so accustomed to writing on lined paper, governed by its fence that if we try writing beyond it, it doesn’t turn out nice because it’s unnatural. Our wrist have no muscle memory of that.


Why I’ve never finished a journal

This is my beautiful new Moleskin journal, part reward for hitting my word count last month and part indulgence that I couldn’t resist any more. Some may say these journals are overrated, but the softness of the leather, the silky feel of the pages, and most importantly, the perfect distance between lines make it love every time for me.

When it’s been a while since I’ve last purchased a notebook of any kind, I start to get an itch to visit Barnes and Noble or a twinge when I walk past the journal aisle in Target, even if I have nothing particular in mind to use it for. There is something about all of those gloriously blank pages. Each one is a new beginning. Sometimes I flip open a new journal and just run my fingers over blank page after blank page. It’s perfect without the imperfections of life finding…

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Book Review – “The Book Of Tomorrow” by Cecelia Ahern

6631792After the death of Mr. Goodwin, Tamara and her mother found themselves losing everything including their home. Fortunately, Tamara has an uncle living in another neighbourhood with his wife. As days went by, Tamara discovered a burned down castle, a nun, a couple of handsome boys, and her eerily observant aunt. Her mother however was in her room sleeping all day everyday. Along the way, Tamara stumbled upon a book that tells her the events of tomorrow written by herself! She used it to her advantage and solve the mysteries that surrounded her.

After reading the book, I fantasized about having the book she has. If I knew what was gonna happen tomorrow, will I change anything? Well if I knew I was gonna step on poop or get stuck in a traffic jam or forgotten someone’s birthday, it’s highly possible that I would turn that around. But you see, every movie about time travelling and changing the past shows a blasphemous consequences. Whether a wormhole forms in the middle of the city or mother earth is showing signs of death or random people starts dying one by one (if you saved the person that was suppose to die).

Okay, maybe it won’t turn out to be such a huge impact, but changing one decision or an act materially involves one or more people which will create a chain reaction. Say, if you didn’t pick that flower you found in the park, a little boy would’ve had an allergic reaction and had to be sent to the hospital. But picking that flower caused a cyclist to crash into a street light because he was captivated by the beauty of the flower (I can’t think of a better illustration. This is the best I can do at the moment).

However, as reflected in the book, no matter how much effort you put into trying some things are just meant to happen. There is no point in changing an action because it will lead back to where it was going. Nothing could have resulted a different consequence. It’s rather unfortunate, no? To have the knowledge of tomorrow’s happiness or sadness or anger, but there was nothing you could have done to change a regrettable occurrence. To have the guilt build up because you’re the only person who knew what was gonna happen and not being able to change it makes you feel like a bad person, a bystander, an observer (Fringe fans where are you??)

We’re living beings, we react to fear, we have a natural instinct to run away from or battle fear. We want to guard ourselves of the future from hurt or accusations. We want to be in control of our unpredictable lives. But not all things can be planned, organised, chopped and sealed. We shouldn’t be afraid to let go when the going gets tough because not knowing the unexpected episode keeps us excited for tomorrow, and makes us stronger for overcoming it. d7a3da1f4622ce9779eedfbcae662858

“You shouldn’t try to stop everything from happening. Sometimes you’re supposed to feel awkward. Sometimes you’re supposed to be vulnerable in front of people. Sometimes it’s necessary because it’s all part of you getting to the next part of yourself, the next day.”

Cecelia Ahern, The Book of Tomorrow

》30/4/2017《 KL Trip: Day 4/6

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 |

The night before I struggled to sleep in. I was awake almost the whole time because my head was pounding and my throat felt like sand paper and my nose was dripping phlegm down to my throat making me choke while I’m trying to sleep. I constantly had to go to toilet and expel the phlegm. The hotel room only had an aircond so my nose was acting up all night. Plus, I had high fever making me prone to having the chills. I didn’t bring any medicine in case of emergency nor a cardigan or long pants. It was late at night and there was no pharmacy open. Tim had a clean tshirt, he let me wore it over my own to battle the chills. my legs were still vulnerable though because the hotel blanket was not thick enough. But protect your heart and it’ll warm you up (that’s what I think anyway).

We had to meet Tim’s parents at 9am for breakfast but he woke at 7.30am and left. When he came back at around 8.30am, he came holding a plastic with take-away porridge and a bunch of medicine he bought from a pharmacy. I was so touched I could’ve cried. It was such a loving gesture.

So I had porridge for breakfast, had to miss out eating breakfast with his parents and the rest of the day out because I had plans with my friends at night so I knew that if I didn’t rest during the day, I wouldn’t be able to meet them at night which is like THE highlight of this trip.

Ate, popped some tablets and slept till evening.

At 4pm I had another appointment with Musee Platinum. I guess I have to return to KL from time to time because they don’t have a branch in KK. Musee is a hair removal salon. So far I’ve had 4 sessions and the results are as promised.

When I woke up at 2.30pm, I felt surprisingly rested and less warm to the touch. I washed up, changed my clothes and walked over to Sunway Pyramid. I slept so long I haven’t had my lunch yet so I walked over to Jusco; there’s a stall that sells sweet potato and I reckon they’re the best. Bought myself an apple + dragonfruit juice with aloe vera cubes to boost my immunity and sat at available benches to munch.

My best friend picked me and another friend up and off we went for dinner!


Surely we can’t miss out desserts.


Best day ever, albeit sick.

The bluff game #2

So turns out that I didn’t get to attend the seminar because they said today’s is more private to the related parties and there’s no more room for us to sit or stand in the hall. I’m kind of bummed out but my colleague and I managed to escape from the office for 2 hours which is nice.

I usually drive back home for lunch but I thought I would be at the seminar today so I told my mum that she doesn’t need to cook.

The more I converse with my colleague (she’s new), the more I feel like I should be grateful to my company. She was like me: worked in KL for a year and couldn’t take it anymore so came back hometown to work, and she found the working culture to be entirely different. She asked about the procedures to follow, the people, the work. I told her everything I knew and realised that, actually, this company isn’t so bad. Is it just me? Is it my problem?

The bluff game

I realised that I post on weekdays more often than weekends. Usually (or at least I think so), bloggers would blog more often on weekends since you have 2 whole days to yourself without thinking about work or how much money you need to spend going out. I post of weekdays during office hours because my life has been pretty mundane. The company I’m working in right now hired me because they foresaw that a huge project was gonna come in and they needed manpower.

So here I am (hired), waiting for that job to commence while pretending to look busy every single day. Of course I do have some work to do some days, but I finish them so fast that my senior have not much to give me anymore. Talk about being efficient.

I just went in to see my senior and he said he wants me to attend a seminar tomorrow for the WHOLE day (score!). At least I don’t need to play the bluff game for one day this week.