Disconnected

The frequency I’ve been blogging is reducing. I’ve been so busy lately, I just wanted to compensate it with sleep and more sleep. Also I’ve got no exciting or out of the ordinary event that happened. It’s been pretty mundane. I guess I could write about my day but it’s all the same everyday. I mean, if i mention about work, it is known that there are plenty of late nights and dissatisfaction.

Ah! I just realised what I can blog about just as I wrote the previous sentence.

I’ve made new friends!

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They are colleagues from work, from other company. I work in the construction field so meeting other consultants is a usual thing. Turns out we click well with these bunch. The age group definitely varies but somehow we are able to mingle very well.

I’m usually the quiet and listen type when I’m with friends, not so much talking. But that day when we first met up for drinks, I just pushed myself to talk because I wanted to give a good first impression. Not this quiet girl that have nothing to say. That’s not very fun is it.

Self-sufficient

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I have many shortcomings ever since I was young. Maybe it was an idea that was planted in my mind. I was the youngest among my siblings, at least 6 years apart. Whenever my dad asks me something, I’d say “I don’t know“. I didn’t say it to spite him; it was really because I didn’t know the answer to the question he asked. I was young, and lacked self-confidence. Or rather, I didn’t learn how to be or knew what it was. I was labeled as a shy person because I didn’t dared ask questions or give answers they needed to know.

Because of that, I developed a need for independence. I was afraid of asking questions, so I search for answers myself. I depended on my own abilities to seek out explanations and justifications, enough for me to complete certain tasks or whatever my random mind conjures.

The people I’m friends with or work for may misunderstand this as ‘smart‘ or ‘bright‘. But really, it’s all just a way to cover up my weakness.

Another way I do is I unconsciously surround myself with friends that are certainly not afraid to speak out their minds. They’re loud, charismatic, smart, and most importantly, funny as hell.

If I was a knight, my girl friends would symbolise my sword. They are the strongest beings I have ever met; both physically and mentally. They don’t need a man to rely on for strength. They are self-sufficient. And they protect me in ways, many I probably didn’t know they have.

Because of my shortcomings, I developed a ‘formula’ or a standard to live. I can’t always need someone else to help me if I need one. I can’t always expect that they will always be there for me. Above all, I can’t let my past experience doubt my actual abilities.

Also, because of this, I simply cannot accept it when others need help without trying it on their own. Where’s your strength? Where’s your independence? Where’s your confidence?

I’m not saying asking for help is shameful and wrong. I’m asking whether you acknowledge your abilities before giving up or not?

》2/5/2017《 KL Trip: Day 6/6

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 |

wp-image-367611315.The dreaded last day. So much to do before heading to the airport. Tim’s coursemate wanted to have a meal with us before we left so I picked a place that had a stationery store that I’ve been dying to go ;p Check out their website and you KNOW that it is one of the most comprehensive and well-stocked stationery store. It’s like Popular Bookstore but minus the rack of books and more journal, writing and art supplies! I didn’t take any picture of the interior because I was too busy indulging myself with all that they have. But if you check out their instagram or you know about their washi tape wall, you know this store is the real deal. Their recently hired Community Manager, Joy Chong came up to me while I was mesmerized by their collection of Tombow and Sakura Koi brush pens. Obviously she didn’t know who I was because she’s not a stalker like I am.

Hi, do you need help with anything?

Oh, no worries I’m just exploring.

Okay, if you need anything just let me know.

wp-image--1454484725Being able to visit and enter the store is surreal enough but seeing and talking to the person I’ve been stalking and artwork I admire it’s as if I’ve met a celebrity. 😍

As I promised in Day 2, I’ll do a haul on the stationery I bought 🙂

We drove the car back to Jeff’s dad’s workshop, called a taxi and head to the airport. We made a stop to KLIA2 because our friends requested Garrett’s popcorn in their shopping list. Then, we took the express train from KLIA2 to KLIA1.

I really hope to go back again if I get the chance. It was a wonderful and memorable trip. The food, my friends, the shopping – I’ll be back for you.

》1/5/2017《 KL Trip: Day 5/6

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 |

Day 5 is Sukishi day!

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Sukishi and Suki-Ya has the same concept: Japanese Shabu Shabu Buffet. The thin slices of pork/beef/chicken/lamb is endless. The only difference is that Suki-Ya doesn’t serve pork in their menu. They’re paired best with the sukiyaki soup base, I reckon. You swirl it in beaten raw eggs after scooping them out from the soup which cools them down considerably before you dip it in a spicy miso paste sauce (I think. Just dip it. It’s good) and into your mouth. It’s warm, smooth, flavourful, and the best thing is, it’s endless. Every seat has a sheet of paper introducing the types of meat, soup and sauces they have, as well as a guide for you to enjoy your shabu shabu time more efficiently. All the sauces will be served to you automatically. All you need to do is choose the soup base and meat. Yes, you can order all that they provide.

And like every buffet restaurant, there’s ice cream! They used to serve a black sesame ice cream but it wasn’t highly accepted by people so now they only serve green tea and chocolate ice cream, which is yum too!

After lunch Tim and I spent our time in Sunway Pyramid reminiscing about the good old times. It’s the best shopping mall to get anything because it has a wide price range and it has every kind of shop there is.

We bought llaollao – THE best frozen yogurt I’ve ever eaten after Yogurberry disappeared. Can’t decide on the sauce? Go for chocorock and I promise you will not regret it. The best deal is probably Sanum – you get 2 types of crunchies and 3 types of fruits and 1 sauce; that’s like, 6 toppings!

I can’t remember what we had for dinner. Before retiring back to our hotel, we managed to catch Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2 from TGV Cinemas. How psychotic was his dad anyway?


It’s June already and I’m still not done blogging about my trip to KL in April. What’s taking so long? I just moved to a new place temporarily and there’s no wifi there. I’ve exhausted the limited data that I have on my phone. I usually dread going to work but it’s the nearest place I can get a wifi connection, so I find it weird that I look forward to go to work now. I know I’ve said this before but my monthly friend still hasn’t visited yet which makes me all moody and tired. To top it all off, it has been raining every evening everyday.

》30/4/2017《 KL Trip: Day 4/6

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 |

The night before I struggled to sleep in. I was awake almost the whole time because my head was pounding and my throat felt like sand paper and my nose was dripping phlegm down to my throat making me choke while I’m trying to sleep. I constantly had to go to toilet and expel the phlegm. The hotel room only had an aircond so my nose was acting up all night. Plus, I had high fever making me prone to having the chills. I didn’t bring any medicine in case of emergency nor a cardigan or long pants. It was late at night and there was no pharmacy open. Tim had a clean tshirt, he let me wore it over my own to battle the chills. my legs were still vulnerable though because the hotel blanket was not thick enough. But protect your heart and it’ll warm you up (that’s what I think anyway).

We had to meet Tim’s parents at 9am for breakfast but he woke at 7.30am and left. When he came back at around 8.30am, he came holding a plastic with take-away porridge and a bunch of medicine he bought from a pharmacy. I was so touched I could’ve cried. It was such a loving gesture.

So I had porridge for breakfast, had to miss out eating breakfast with his parents and the rest of the day out because I had plans with my friends at night so I knew that if I didn’t rest during the day, I wouldn’t be able to meet them at night which is like THE highlight of this trip.

Ate, popped some tablets and slept till evening.

At 4pm I had another appointment with Musee Platinum. I guess I have to return to KL from time to time because they don’t have a branch in KK. Musee is a hair removal salon. So far I’ve had 4 sessions and the results are as promised.

When I woke up at 2.30pm, I felt surprisingly rested and less warm to the touch. I washed up, changed my clothes and walked over to Sunway Pyramid. I slept so long I haven’t had my lunch yet so I walked over to Jusco; there’s a stall that sells sweet potato and I reckon they’re the best. Bought myself an apple + dragonfruit juice with aloe vera cubes to boost my immunity and sat at available benches to munch.

My best friend picked me and another friend up and off we went for dinner!

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Surely we can’t miss out desserts.

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Best day ever, albeit sick.

Repost: Emptiness

I have a deep desire for something more than just ordinary indulgence. I have a longing, an ache which I don’t completely understand. I constantly have this feeling that I’m not living my life to the fullest. I am unsatisfied, hungry and uncharacteristically empty.  There is a persistent hammering for something more than just what is. I close my eyes and as my psyche rises up into the great nothingness, it releases a nebulous hankering, one which doesn’t know it’s purpose. It’s like there is this huge being inside me which persists without reason. There is no purpose for this being except that it’s just there, a living, breathing something inside me.

There is a whole big world I’m born into, of which I have seen fractionally nothing. It makes me feel small, it makes me feel insignificant. I have issues with being just a speck of dust within the galaxy, I have issues with being and feeling insignificant. Though I know not of what may really mean not being and feeling insignificant.

It makes me think of power. Is that why people desire power? To be and feel significant? Is that why people do the mad hustle, is that what fills their deep wells? Or does power makes them more anxious and restless? Or does power deepens their already deep wells?

It makes me question the existence of everything. It makes me question the purpose of everything. It makes me question the worth of it all.

I am happy, but I’m not full. I am laughing, but I’m not full.

Something lacks. Something is missing.

Or is that all there is? An eternal emptiness?

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What or who would you be if you knew you couldn’t fail?

SheenaLuce

That’s all it took, that one question.

And I knew without doubt that if money were no object, if I knew I’d never fail,

Then I’d create something every day for the rest of my life.

If art makes me happy, if it really is my calling,

Then l won’t make the mistake of ignoring it so early on in my life. I won’t give myself the chance to regret it later.

Despite every thread of doubt, every twinge of uncertainty, every fear of failure,

If it’s my dream, maybe I have to follow it, and if I fail, at least I’ll know.

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