Resignation

I threw in (no, not really) my resignation letter in February but they said I could stay until I found a job. By June they asked if I could stay till August, otherwise they will hire to replace me. It’s August now and I still haven’t found another job. Well I did, my application wasn’t reverted. The reasons why I wanted to resign in the first place still remains. As much as there’s goodness in here, there are also much that clashes with my own work ethics, desired dynamics and personality. If I had to choose a place that goes against how I work and my natural being, and to resign and bet on a new one, I’d choose the latter.

But no adults could understand this. At least not my parents, nor siblings. To them,

Work is work. As long as it brings you cash. At least you’re employed unlike other people or places that doesn’t have this kind of privilege. Work is a duty, not a choice. It’s expected that I work my whole life with little advancement here and there, but with no true purpose besides earning a living.

You can be really good at what you’re doing, and not only not be passionate about it, but also totally loathe it.

 

Repost: The Dark Side Of Empathic People That You Rarely See and Must Always Be Cautious Of!

Empaths are more susceptible to the negative energies in life. Their intense ability to feel can’t get away from the deep-rooted evils that exist in the world. Their deep understanding of how the world exists and operates is enough to confuse and sadden them. What they can’t understand is why this type of energy exists in the first place, if all it does is hurt others.

The dark side of being an empath is constantly being exhausted and fatigued from the energies you absorb. But, you’d never know it. Because the empath never dares break down or lose composure. They quietly observe, acknowledge and feel.

As many others do, empaths want to be loved and accepted for who they are. But, it is their generosity and kindness that often sees them being taken advantage of by those who only take, never give. Empaths are ‘givers’ by all means, ready to show kindness to those in need at all times.

The dark side of being an empath is not knowing that being so selfless places an incredibly heavy burden on one’s self. Even the empaths that do recognize the burdensome nature of their selflessness often choose to ignore it, because carrying that weight is more meaningful than letting it fall on someone else’s shoulders.

The dark side of being an empath is knowing that you willingly neglect both your body and mind for the sake of others. A neglect that builds over the years, eventually resulting in the need to go soul-searching once again, a practice that we only take up when we feel completely lost.

The dark side of being an empath is knowing that even when they fall in love, they never do so entirely. They simply aren’t capable of giving every ounce of their heart to someone else. They know that if they tried, the intensity of the passion would most likely be too much to handle, for themselves and their partners.

Which is why they always keep a little part of them hidden away from the rest of the world. They keep a guard up out of necessity, even if they want nothing more than to let it down and succumb to an overwhelming love.

The dark side of being an empath is the war that is always being waged within. The war they wage against the sadness, the darkness, and the sorrowful side of themselves that is always trying to rear its ugly head and lead them into self-destruction.

The only way they can fight this successfully is by learning to distinguish between emotions that are their own, and emotional energies that are imposters, invading from the outside. Empaths need people who understand who they are, people they can talk to and who will listen.

Empaths need to be able to let down the wall they’ve built up around their feelings so that they can let their empathic selves do good in their own life.

Otherwise, empaths are destined to fight a war within themselves that never ends.

– Written by Wendi

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Nice to meet you

between the age of 13 to 16, i have always wanted to know what kind of person am i. it was a strange feeling. i knew i loved my mum’s cooking but i didn’t know what kind of food i love to eat. i knew that i enjoy being around my friends, but i didn’t know what qualities or the mutual interests that kept me with them. i knew i love love, being in love, seeing love, but what is it about love that attracts me?

between the age of 13 to 16, i was a hunter. i needed to know who i am and what made me happy what make me unhappy. i would take tests after tests to find out what my personality is. how i was described in words. during that time, reading about horoscopes was popular. i didn’t really believed what it said would happen about my love life, work, luck and health. but it did made me feel like i’ve gotten closer to understanding what kind of person i am.

then i found out there’s such thing called the 16 personality test (essentially the Myers Briggs test), which revolves around 4 types: Analysts, Diplomats, Sentinels, Explorers. and from these four, they’re branched out to 4 more types. you’d have to go through a number of questions for the system to accurately pinpoint what kind of personality you have. (i’ve take the test twice and got INFJ both times. tell me if we’re personality buddies!)

and you know about the test you see in Facebook. the “what’s your dominant personality trait?” “which Disney Princess are you?” “how sensitive is your OCD radar?” to name a few.

during those years, i felt so lost. i didn’t know who i was. i felt like i didn’t have an identity that people can remember me by. “what’s so special about me that others don’t already have?“. those tests helped a lot, but i was able to stop asking myself those questions and started feeling more confident after i came to a point where enough is enough. i had to stop questioning my existence. i stopped needing acknowledgement from other people, and made mine the highest priority. i made myself see and accept who i am.

it’s a process, a journey.

i stopped beating myself up for my mistakes because those mistakes doesn’t define what kind of person i am. i am human. even if i was an animal, a plant, whatever living thing in the world, mistakes are inevitable.

i’m 24 years old this year. i’ve gained 3kg in the past 2 months. i love chocolate and cheese – even more if they’re combined. i’m really bad at small talks. i love talking about life and philosophical topics. i find it difficult to meet new people. i’m afraid of the dark. i love staying home to cook and other domestic stuff. i’m not uninterested nor angry when i’m quiet, just tired. i have a resting bitch face but i assure you i’m quite friendly.